Unsuitable Heart
by shadowlight12
Summary: Story inspired by Twilight. Written for my creative writing class. This is a story about a girl werewolf falling in love.


The rain pounded on the asphalt as the students at Metro State ran to their next class, with their notebooks, arms, jackets, or whatever they had held over their heads. I watched the scene from my Acura where I sat with the windows rolled down. I loved the distinct fresh smell of rain, and the best part was, it washed away all other scents. I did not have to smell the air polluted with the aromas of garbage, the cafeteria's daily special, or the stink of humanity. Of course I would have to smell some of these things as soon as I stepped into a building, but for now, I was blissfully free. I sighed as I took another look at my clock on the dashboard, "Moment Over" I thought dismally to myself. I rolled the windows up, grabbed my notebook and textbook, and headed off to astronomy. It wouldn't be good to arrive late to the first day of class. I was starting my sophomore year at college; taking a full load of classes and working part time at the local bookstore. I loved it!

I recoiled a bit, from the foul odor as I walked into class and took a seat near the front and tried to sit as close to the exit as possible. I also found a seat where I was able to sit alone, for this reason I had walked into the classroom with only a minute to spare. Everyone else was in his or her seats ready to go. My nose was hit with a most incredible smell, as the professor handed out his syllabus. I was stunned! I had never before smelled such a wonderful aroma in a building with so many people present. The fragrance reminded me of forest glades, of pine trees, and the mountain fresh air I loved so much. I was drawn to this scent…I wanted whatever it was. I quickly glanced around, trying to locate the source of the smell, when my eyes met brown piercing eyes. A handsome young man came walking into the class. He was tall, athletic looking with brown hair that looked wind swept. He was pale, the dark circles under his eyes, made him look as if he didn't get enough sleep, but this did not detract from his beauty, it enhanced it.

I didn't realize I had been staring until it was too late. He flashed me a quick smile and then came and took the vacant seat next to me. I did not appreciate this, I could not and I would not become friendly with this guy! My number one rule since the accident was, that I did not date! It saved me a lot of heartache and grief by not even opening that door. I knew I could never get married and have a relationship like normal people, so I never let myself revert back to those fairytale dreams of long ago. Before the accident, or so I call the curse that happened to me, I was once a normal happy teen with dreams of a future not unlike those of most girls. But, those dreams were taken from me the day of the attack, and I found out I would forever be a monster. Now I viewed things with a cold detachedness. Sometimes when I was alone in the dark abyss of despair, I would dream and hope that one of these handsome men I met would be my white knight. But I had to face reality; I would lock those feelings away, and show to the world a face of indifference that would deter friends or suitors from attempting conversation. I put on the blank mask I usually wore and gave my full attention to the professor.

My ears pricked at the sound coming from next to me, "I'm Nathan McDaniel by the way, what's your name?"

I turned to glare at the idiot hoping that would put a stop to any future association, and felt my breath catch as I was again caught off guard by how handsome he was. He was holding his hand out to me to shake. As much as I wanted to smile and shake his hand, and tell him, "Nice to meet you, I'm Wilhelmina, but PLEASE call me 'Mina'." I couldn't do it. I wasn't going to give in that easily. With much effort I turned back around to the professor and listened attentively to the rest of the lecture, and hurried out after class, growling slightly at the girl I passed who smelled strongly of cat.

For the next month, class would carry on much like it had that first day, I would arrive to class right before the bell rang, and then he would walk in and take a seat next to me, and attempt to make conversation. I would ignore him, and then promptly run out at the end of class. The hardest thing, and the thing that scared me most, was that I felt my iron will crumbling each day I saw him in class and heard his voice. Each time he attempted conversation my heart, the thing I tried to keep locked up, would scream at me, "Talk to him, he's perfect, every girl's dream, and he's interested in you!" And then logic would kick in and remind me that I was dangerous…not normal. The moment he discovered my secret, he would run away from me screaming, and I would be left crushed and heartbroken.

Then at the end of the month, my professor began talking about the astronomy labs we were going to have to do every Wednesday night, and then he said two words that gave me a feeling of dread.

"You will need LAB PARTNERS."

I gripped the sides of my desk, my knuckles turning white, as the professor proceeded to pair us up with the person we were sitting by. This of course left Nathan, with his stupid grin plastered on his face, and I paired up. I had never been filled with so much dread and elation all at the same time. The wheels in my head were spinning, trying to figure out how not to talk to him, and yet I was so excited because I knew deep down there was absolutely no way I could not, not talk to him. As class came to an end I looked forward to next Wednesdays lab, and yet dreaded it all at once.

Wednesday night's lab came much too fast and yet far too slow for my liking. As the days had drawn nearer to the lab I became very jittery, whether from dread or excitement I wasn't sure. Nathan seemed to be wearing a smug smile and his eyes seemed to dance with excitement, as the days drew nearer to D-day as I had dubbed it. He seemed to sense that I was finally going to cave and talk to him in these labs.

I waited until the last possible moment, before I arrived to the lab, being held on the outskirts of town, near the forest so that there would be less light pollution, and we could see the stars better. The gravel crunched under my shoes, as I moved to take a seat on a rock, the farthest away from Nathan. The professor held up the different parts of the telescope as he spoke, slowly showing us how to assemble them, and then told us to get into our partners. Instantly Nathan was at my side with the telescope in his hand. We began assembling the telescope in silence, and then it was broken by Nathan.

"You know I never did get your name that first day of class, and since we are to be lab partners for a while, I feel it prudent to be able to call you something other than, Hey, You!" He chuckled, and a smile touched his face.

I sighed in defeat, although elation ran through my body, "I'm Wilhelmina Sandstrom, but PLEASE, just call me Mina." I said all this with an uninterested tone and never diverted my eyes from the screw that I was tightening. I heard a laugh come from Nathan, and felt myself grow irritated, how dare he laugh at my name, of course it was old-fashioned and didn't fit in with the times, but it was mine and I liked it, and I hated it when people poked fun at it. But then Nathan's words caught me off guard.

"She speaks! I actually didn't believe I was ever going to hear a word from you!"

I was so caught off guard I jerked my head up, and I was met with a large smile, and I couldn't help but crack a little grin and answer him saying, "Well miracles have been known to happen." I had just joked with him…was this even me? I could tell from the way his mouth hung open, he wasn't expecting that either.

The evening progressed well, I found I really enjoyed Nathan's company, and I felt relaxed in his presence. We joked around a bit, and I felt myself smiling more than I ever had in the last year. I also felt myself begin to hope that things may in fact be all right for the first time since the accident. Towards the end of the lab we began to view the moon up close. It was a quarter moon; I still had at least another week before I started to feel…well…not myself. Nathan roused me from my musings.

"I love the night, everything seems much more romantic, the stars and moon hold so much beauty. I especially love the moon when it is full and bright, that is the time, I would most enjoy taking a stroll with you in fact."

He glanced at me, looking a little nervous, and a little bashful at what he had just said. I wished I could make it easier for him, and smile and say I'd love nothing more than that too, but instead I went from relaxed to rigid in a matter of seconds, and broke out into a cold sweat.

"Nathan, night is a curse, nothing good happens in the dark. There is not a word strong enough to describe my loathing for the moon, and especially a full moon. There will never be a time that I would be caught dead taking a stroll with you, or anyone else on a full moon!" And then, hoping to soften my angry words, I shocked myself by saying, "That doesn't mean, that I would never want to do anything with you, just never anything on a full moon." I gave him a little half grin trying to add some warmth to my words.

With each word spoken, I had watched Nathan's face fall; at my last statement, he had jerked his head up. He smiled and said a little nervously, "So…would you like to go to dinner tomorrow? We could even make it an early date so that you were home before dark."

I gave him a grateful smile, "Dinner would be lovely, and we don't have to make dinner too early tomorrow, it's still a quarter moon after all." I added that last bit to reassure myself it would be fine.

Dinner was fine. Nathan took me to a Steak House. The smell of all that meat was intoxicating to me. As I placed my order, Nathan's wide eyes kept shooting from my face to the waiters, but he didn't say anything about it. We had so much in common, and I really just enjoyed being in his company. When the food arrived, I lost my control for a moment, as I realized how famished I was. My steak was perfect! It had been left on the grill just long enough to make the meat hot, but it was still red and bloody. I tore into my meat like an animal before I realized what I was doing.

I looked up at Nathan's slightly scared expression, before grabbing my napkin and wiping away the blood from the side of my mouth. I gave a nervous giggle while picking up a knife and fork, and said, "Just kidding!" I giggled again. Nathan looked slightly ill as he watched me eat the rest of my meal. He hardly ate any of his, I was afraid I made him lose his appetite.

That first week was the most human I had felt before a full moon. Nathan had a way of breaking into my dark mood, when I was most angry and aggressive, and made me relax, and sometimes, even laugh! I think Nathan just played off my mood swings to PMS, I mean, who in their right minds would have guessed that real reason why I acted the way I did. Technically I wasn't real, I was just a story used to scare little children.

As the month went on Nathan and I became even closer, we started dating, and I found myself believing that I wasn't destined to live alone, as I had once thought. I even started to feel that I was more human than monster, that maybe I could eventually learn to control the animal within me instead of the other way around. I was happy and positive in life, and found myself looking forward to each new day. The only thing that kept me from true happiness was the thought that Nathan still did not know what I truly was, and I was afraid of what his reaction might be when I finally told him. I had finally decided, I would tell him, especially if our relationship were to continue.

As another month and another full moon drew near, I prepared myself to tell Nathan my greatest secret, the one that I guarded with my life, and had never told anyone before. We had been dating for two months, and before I could let this go any farther, I had to be truthful with him, I had to let him have an option, and it wasn't fair to lie to him anymore. I was afraid of what his reaction might be, that he would be afraid of me, and no longer look at me as the person I was, but as a monster. But I needed him to know, I cared for him too much to let him remain in the dark, and most importantly I needed him to accept me for me. I needed to know that what I was would not affect the way he felt about me. I had already gone too far and opened my heart up to hurt and ache; I needed to know that I hadn't given myself false hope.

We were holding hands walking in the park, the sun was just setting and the sky was lit by brilliant shades of pinks, purples, yellows, and oranges. A growl escaped me as a cat darted out in front of us. The cat returned my growl with a hiss and fled. Nathan had grown use to this strange behavior of mine by now…he didn't even stare. Tomorrow was the full moon, and I would be spending the day at home alone; and then as night fell, I would lock myself in the basement, where I would remain, until dawn came again. Nathan had expressed his curiosity earlier that week, as to why we could not spend that day together, and I had just played it off, as having many things to do, and I did not need him there distracting me.

Nathan had just winked at me mischievously and said, "Ah, I see."

I pulled Nathan over to a nearby bench and after brushing some snow off, we both sat down. Despite my fur-lined coat, the cold reached me, and I shivered. Nathan wrapped his arms around me to warm me up.

"Do you want me to take you home? It's getting dark, and I know you didn't want to stay out too late tonight."

I turned my head so I could look at Nathan, "No, not yet. I want to talk to you first."

"Uh Oh!" Nathan joked. "I must be in trouble if you want to talk!" He laughed and I smiled up at him.

"You're always in trouble!" I rested my head back against his chest, and looked out at the moon, hating it more than I ever had in my life. I finally spoke again after sitting for a few more moments in silence.

"Last summer as I was hiking back down from Horsetail Falls, I was attacked by a wolf. I thought I was going to die, as the wolf's sharp teeth tore into me. Then as I began to lose consciousness, I remember the wolf looking up, being startled by something and then running off. I then blacked out. I don't know how many hours I lay there, but when I finally woke, I was still lying in the same spot, and it was dark. I got up, and practically ran back to my car. It wasn't until I was sitting in my car, that what I had just been through hit me. I flipped down my window visor, and examined my face in the mirror. It looked perfectly normal…no blood, no nothing! I proceeded to examine that rest of my body. I could find no evidence that I had been through a vicious wolf attack…not a scratch was on me! I knew I should be seeing myself in shreds, but there was nothing."

I finally turned so I could face Nathan; he had already dropped his arms from around me sometime during my narrative. He wore a look of shocked horror on his face. His look tore at my heart, but I had to continue my story.

"As the month drew on, I noticed I had a heightened sense of smell, sight, and hearing. My strength had increased, and" I cracked a small smile at Nathan, "I even began to crave my meats a little bit rare. Then one night as I was home by myself, I began to shake, and lose control. I didn't feel like myself anymore, I felt like an animal, and then I didn't remember anymore. When I woke that morning, I found my home destroyed, ripped to shreds, like an animal had gotten loose in there, and I had no memory of the night before, all I remembered was feeling like an animal. Suddenly everything came together. The wolf attack, my strange abilities…I ran to look at the calendar, and read that the last night had been a full moon…the fact that my home looked as if it had been ripped apart by an animal. I was shocked when the word came to my mind…was I a werewolf? That next week, I researched like crazy, and all my fears were proven…I was a monster…a werewolf."

Nathan's laugh broke through, "Nice story sweetheart, you had me going there for a second." He bent in to kiss me, but I stopped him by holding my finger to his lips.

"Honestly Nathan, I wish it was only a story. But I really do turn into a werewolf once a month during a full moon."

He laughed again, "And I'm a vampire who sleeps in a coffin, and is extremely drawn to your blood." He bent his head this time so that his lips were at my neck, and he started a trail of kisses.

I had to exert a lot of willpower to gently push him away. "Nathan, this is not a joke. Why do you think I growl at cats and they hiss back at me? It's an instinct on both our parts. Why do you think I enjoy eating rare steaks? Why do you think I hate the full moon so much, and why do you think I won't spend any time with you tomorrow? It's because there is a full moon tomorrow. Think Nathan…put the pieces together."

After this statement, Nathan had pushed me away from him, and stood up away from me. Fear covered his face. "You're right, you're not human!" he spat.

I stood up and started to walk towards him, "That's not fair…I'm as human as you are." He backed away from me as I approached him and I stopped.

"You're a filthy dog…a monster…stay away from me!"

I was crushed; the words I feared most were being said to me. "I love you Nathan, please don't do this." A small sob escaped me.

"Mina we're over, please stay away from me." With that Nathan turned and ran away, leaving me in the dark. I fell to my knees and sobbed.

After I had let myself cry for a while, I wiped away the tears from my face angrily. Never again I vowed, never again. I walked home by myself in the cold night.

I endured the transformation the next night, it was the most violent I had ever had. The state of my basement could attest to that. The rest of that week I spent packing. I didn't hear a word from Nathan. I put my things in my car and drove away. I drove all day and night, until I reached a new state and a new town. I enrolled at the local college, and prepared myself for a new semester. I redoubled my effort of not caring, and looking at life with a cold indifference. I was a monster. There would be no fairy tale ending for me.

I sat in my car with the window rolled down. It was raining, I loved the smell of rain, it washed away all scents. I waited until the last possible moment, and then made my way to class. I sat in a seat in the front of the classroom near the exit away from everyone else in the class. As the professor began to hand out the syllabus, the most amazing smell hit my nose. I froze, and as I looked up to see where the scent had come from, I was met by piercing blue eyes, and the most handsome guy I had seen since…"No don't think about him."

The man smiled at me and came over to take the seat next to mine. I wore a mask of malice. I was having the strongest sense of Déjà vu, but this time, it would be different, this time nothing was going to happen.

"Hi my name is Matt," he extended his hand toward me in the form of a handshake. I completely ignored him as I got up and left the class…"Never Again!"


End file.
